Our donor/ El Segundo

I just went to look at our donor, which I do from time to time, and he’s now listed as inactive.

We started this process thinking we’d just have one, and that might still be the plan. But almost immediately upon the zunzun’s arrival we began contemplating the prospect of el segundo. It’s all very abstract, and we vascillate wildly on the matter, but it’s in the ether.

[For the record, though I might write about it again on here in greater depth, I also might not. The conversation — in anything but its most abstract form — has been tabled until 1) the zunzun’s 1st birthday, 2) the return of my period, and 3) a better sense of our labor/income scenario in the next few years. All very logical, right?]

The inactivity of our donor means that if we did have a second, it’d be unlikely that our children would be full siblings. On the one hand, this isn’t something that particularly phases me (or us). Having a second baby through a different *type* of donor gives us pause, but is something we’ve considered. On the other, this donor gave us such a lovely, charming, laid back, sweet-smiling little fellow, how could we resist wanting to have another just like him?

(A says the chances of having another baby like this are so low, mostly because balance must be maintained in the universe. When I protested that perhaps I just produced especially good-natured babies, she pointed out to me that this seemed a genetically unlikely scenario. ;-/ )

I don’t feel sad about this news, though, which is surprising to me. I reserve the right to feel sad later, if it happens and/or if we do decide to try for el segundo. But for now, it is what it is.

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2 thoughts on “Our donor/ El Segundo

  1. Bummer! I had the same thing happen to us for #2 preparations. I’d be happy to share our adventures with you in the hopes it can offer some help should you decide to attempt #2. Depending on about a thousand circumstances, (including why your donor is inactive and which bank you used) there might be some “low quality” samples available for siblings. We were told there was nothing available and I turned my devistation into action and was able to secure 5 viles for IVF. I plan to blog about this… maybe I’ll do it this week 🙂

  2. A similar thing happened to us. We really wanted to use the same donor, since we were taking turns carrying and preferred the kids to share a biological connection. We contacted our sperm bank and when someone sold back vials we got first dibs. Something to consider, maybe?

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